“School For Seduction” : “You've Read How They Do It Stateside, Now Learn How To Find Yourself a Private Pulling Tutor Back In Britain.

I'm wincing like a boy being prompted with a poke in the back to embrace an elderly relative.

A female voice hisses, "Approach NOW!" in my ear and, like the reluctant child, I'm forced to face my demons: in this case, two rather attractive blondes.

This is my introduction to the "field work" of a Real Social Dynamics course. My class consists of six students but, unlike anything I ever experienced at school, we each have our own strict, demanding and also rather attractive tutors.

Guide to pulling a stunner,
step 1: find a bar full of models

Tonight, we're putting our learning to the test.

Prior to hitting the streets we were taught the theory behind meeting and attracting women.

This took the form of a two-day seminar, with instructors explaining the required techniques involved.

We learnt how to start conversations.
Evaluating which women to approach is near impossible. Even the most warm and welcoming barely dressed women have boyfriends.
Apparently, an authoritative presence and a female-opinion opner works best: "Hi, I need a female opinion. Who lies more: men or women?"

It's the sort of issue on which a woman can't resist sharing her views.

Once you're off, you share some stories that appeal to the emotional and imaginative parts of a woman's psyche, thereby creating physical tension.

After that you take charge and sweep her away for a night of unbridled passion.

Well, that's the theory.

The reality proves to be different.

It begins with me stopping two bemused Estonian students while trying to remember my opener.

I stumble over the opinion question but it eventually limps out of my mouth and, much to my amazement, they don't give me the "fuck you" brush off I expect but instead start arguing over it.

Unfortunately, my initial success means that I momentarily forget what to do next, but still they smile at me, make their excuses and leave pleasantly.

"That was very good," says Roxanna, my instructor. "But you have to learn to be louder or you'll never get any attention when we get to the clubs."

Evaluating which women to approach is near impossible. Even the most warm and welcoming barely dressed women have boyfriends at the bar, in the toilet or on the dance floor.

It's a fleshy manfield.

But despite my protests, Roxanna isn't about to take no for an answer and we head for a club in London's West End.
Perfect Pick-ups
Roxanna's a tall, slim Mexican, who wears a low-cut top and cut-away denims.

It's a look that undoubtedly gives us novice pick-up students kudos when making our cold approaches - a man with an attractive female friend is less threatening and thus more appealing, I'm reliably informed.

I use the openers with single women, pairs, even the raucous members of a hen party.

Roxanna is always there right behind me whispering in my ear: "Stop moving so much... Look, she's interested... Tell another story... Okay, leave now."

She's relentless about making me approach; every time I head for the bar she's on me. "Why are you stopping? Look, those two there - GO!"

Later, the whole group forms a circle to celebrate.

Everyone has approached 10 or more women each during the evening and many of us have phone numbers.

Before the seminar, most seemed incapable of stringing two sentences together in front of a woman they fancied.

I feel high, I feel powerful.

I feel ridiculously excited.

I can see that this is really going to make a difference to my dating life.

We're all elected members of the Pick-Up Club and there's a feeling of camaraderie.

First rule of Pick-Up Club: you must approach! Second rule of Pickup-Up Club: you must approach!

Even without the alluring Roxanna by my side to bully me into the initial approach, I've continued to live by the rules.

I regularly stop women in the street and I have no problems starting conversations in clubs.

I've had four dates in the last two weeks, one with a particularly stunning lawyer who I'm seeing again.

The course has taught me a valuable truth: you must always make the move.

Live by that diktat and you won't regret it.